


june - i only have eyes for you

by woodchoc_magnum



Series: you can tell everybody this is your song [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Accidental Outing, Caring Eddie Diaz, Established Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Romance, Sad Evan "Buck" Buckley, Soft Eddie Diaz, gossipy friends, sweet drunk eddie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:07:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25144423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woodchoc_magnum/pseuds/woodchoc_magnum
Summary: "It doesn't matter what anyone thinks. I only care about you and Christopher. You're my whole world. I'm yours," he said fiercely, and Eddie's eyes widened. "I'm yours, Eds. All yours.""Mine," Eddie agreed, and kissed him again.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: you can tell everybody this is your song [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1816843
Comments: 117
Kudos: 723





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy the sex!
> 
> Updated trigger warning: Buck is accidentally outed. It’s not malicious. He is upset about it and feels he has to publicly come out. He has no lingering hard feelings about it.

* * *

Eddie unlocked the door to Buck's apartment and let himself in, checking his watch. "Yo, Buck. We're going to be late."

"Be out in a second!" Buck's voice wafted down from the upstairs bathroom.

A second could literally mean either a second or five minutes, or even half an hour, depending upon whatever Buck was doing in there. The man often had no concept of time when they were on a tight schedule.

Eddie leaned on the kitchen counter, waiting for him. They were going to a party at Chimney's apartment – what for, he wasn't sure, but Chimney had requested that everyone Uber so they could get drunk. The problem was that it cut into the one night alone he and Buck were going to have for a week, and he would have to leave early in the morning to pick up Christopher from Pepa's.

He happened to look up the stairs as Buck stepped out of the bathroom, dripping wet, still towelling himself off. He was _gloriously naked_ , droplets of water sliding down his body like he'd just walked out of the ocean, and he flashed Eddie an easy grin before turning to open his chest of drawers. Eddie raked his eyes down Buck's toned back – he was almost a perfect V, with his wide shoulders giving way to narrow hips and that perfect ass, the one Eddie had spent countless hours worshipping – and suddenly he was climbing the stairs, all thoughts of being on time vanishing.

Buck glanced over at him, tilting his chin up. "You okay?"

"No," Eddie spat, grabbing him by the hips with both hands and pushing him towards the bed. "Holy shit, are you trying to fucking kill me? We haven't had sex in a week!"

Buck laughed, his knees colliding with the side of the mattress. He flopped down, his legs hanging over the side, and Eddie kicked them apart, sliding his hands up Buck's chest. Buck stretched his arms out lazily, teasingly, and then folded them under his head, grinning up at Eddie. "We don't have to go."

"Yeah, and what excuse are we going to give? Sorry Maddie, we couldn't come because I was too busy fucking your brother," Eddie complained, but even as he said it he was unbuckling his belt, desperate for some relief. "Oh fuck, you look so good. What did you do after work? You look… fucking…"

"Well," Buck said, "I went to the gym and did a pretty intense workout, so Eds, I'm feeling very, very worn out."

"Shut _up._ " Eddie leaned in to kiss him, ignoring the fact that he was essentially helping Buck to dry off by lying on top of him. Buck made happy little noises as they kissed, sucking on Eddie's lower lip. Eddie trailed his lips down Buck's chin and neck to his chest, sucking his nipples before leaving a tiny little love bite near his tattoo. Buck was breathing heavily, tilting his pelvis up insistently, and when Eddie knelt between his legs and took him into his mouth, he let out a groan.

In the back of his mind Eddie knew they had to leave; knew he had to get up and order an Uber, but he wanted what he wanted, and right now he wanted Buck writhing beneath him while he gave him an enthusiastic blow job. He was on his knees, one hand stroking himself, the other gripping Buck's hip, digging his fingers in. He wasn't as talented at this particular skill as Buck was, but they'd been together long enough that he was able to make quick, efficient work of it, and soon Buck was unable to control his hips, thrusting up to meet Eddie's mouth, making obscene noises that went right to Eddie's groin.

Buck propped himself up on his elbows, his eyes wide, face and chest flushed. Eddie pulled away, pressing a brief kiss to the head of his cock, smirking up at him.

"Don't fucking stop," Buck said hoarsely.

"Why not? We have to go."

" _Eddie._ "

"Maybe I'd like to see you trying to control yourself around our friends." He made a move as if to pull away, but Buck reached out and grabbed him, pressing an urgent kiss to his lips.

"Please, please," he begged. "Don't stop."

"Mmm, I like it when you beg," Eddie murmured, wrapping his free hand around Buck's cock and stroking quickly. "I can't wait for tonight."

"We'll call and cancel—"

"No, no," Eddie admonished, pulling away again. "No."

Buck whined. "Eds, please, please…"

"Mmm?"

"Please, I'll do anything you want, just finish me off." Buck bit down on his lower lip, his eyes huge. "Anything you want."

"I might have to take you up on that," Eddie replied, and stroked him again, leaning in to wrap his lips around his dick again. Buck shuddered, bending over Eddie, both hands on his shoulders, and when Eddie began to suck earnestly, he let out a moan and came, breathing heavily as Eddie swallowed him down and pulled away, tilting his head up for a kiss.

Buck cupped his face, chuckling, and it was only when Eddie stood that he realised he was touching himself. Buck pushed Eddie's hand away and grabbed him by the hips, taking him in his mouth eagerly.

Eddie rested one hand in Buck's hair and slowly thrust his hips, watching his cock slide in and out of his pink lips. Buck gazed up at him and if his mouth wasn't otherwise occupied, Eddie would swear he was _smirking_ , as if he'd planned this – and he most definitely had, he realised. The cunning bastard.

~

They were fifteen minutes late, which Eddie blamed on a lousy Uber driver (not at all true, Tracey had been lovely and given them both complimentary mints). He and Buck were almost immediately given beers and then separated – Buck dragged away by Josh and Maddie, and Eddie with Chimney, Albert, Hen and Karen.

"What's new with you, Eddie?" Karen asked him. "How's Christopher?"

"He's great," he replied, uncapping his beer. "Couldn't stop raving about camp; wants to go back; wants to go camping all the time – how come we can't go camping this weekend, Dad? Can we go camping with Buck? Can you and Buck take time off so we can go? It's non-stop."

Karen was smiling at him knowingly – _why_ , he wondered.

"There's no reason you couldn't," Chimney said. "There are some nice spots around. Buck used to head off a lot his first year with us; he was always taking off on the weekends by himself."

That was new information; Eddie hadn't known that, and his eyes were drawn to Buck, who was laughing at something on Josh's phone.

Maddie said, "I think he was really lonely out here."

"No, he's got friends," Hen replied. "We've just never met any of them. Your brother has secrets, you know."

"No, he doesn't," Maddie objected, shaking her head. "He's an open book. He can't keep a secret to save his life."

So Hen turned to Eddie asked, "Have _you_ met any of Buck's secret friends?"

Eddie wasn't sure how much he should say, but it felt stupid to lie about it, so he said, "Yeah, I've met a couple of the guys he met through the Navy SEALS program, but he doesn't spend that much time with them anymore."

"And he hasn't had a girlfriend in like, two years," Maddie said thoughtfully. "I'm worried. Maybe I should try to set him up with someone? I don't even know what his type is."

"His type used to be anything with tits and legs," Chimney said dryly, laughing when both Maddie and Hen whacked him from either side. "Oh, come on, it was a joke."

"That's my brother you're talking about," Maddie said loyally. "He can't have been that bad."

"He was," Hen said with a laugh. "But he's grown out of that phase now, thank god. It took a while. I think you played a big part in that, Eddie. You and Christopher made him realise what he actually wants, which is to settle down and have a family of his own. So it's going to take someone really special, I think."

"I'm going to find him someone," Maddie said determinedly. "He deserves to be happy."

Eddie was silent, his eyes flicking to Buck, who happened to look over at him at that exact moment. _He is happy_ , he thought, as Buck flashed him a smile. _But I'm holding him back from telling you all about it._

The subject shifted to less interesting things, like when Maddie and Chimney would be moving into their new house and what colours they were going to paint the walls. Eddie listened, nodding when he was supposed to, but mostly downing his beer and thinking about having another. Maybe if he got a buzz on he'd stop feeling so guilty about making Buck lie to his sister.

He went into the kitchen to grab another beer and glanced over at Buck and Josh again, who were deep in conversation. Buck had a big smile on his face, listening intently, his head cocked to the side. Eddie wanted to know what they were talking about, so he went over to them.

"Hey, Eds," Buck said easily, smiling warmly at him as he approached. "You guys have met, right? You know Josh?"

"Yeah, at Maddie's party, when I was so blinded by your beauty that I made a total fool of myself in front of you," Josh said apologetically. "Sorry about that, again, by the way."

"It's fine," Eddie replied, a little embarrassed.

"What did you do?" Buck asked Josh, who groaned.

"Well, I spilled my drink all over Eddie. You don't remember that?"

"You were with Bobby and Athena," Eddie said to him. "Athena was getting up you about something, I don't remember what."

"Oh," Buck said knowingly. "I might've made a little comment about the cornbread she made at Thanksgiving being dry."

"Oh god," Josh said with horror. "You didn't. And you're still alive? She's a much more forgiving person than I realised."

"All I've gotta do is flash the baby blues, and a little bit of a smile," Buck boasted, "and she forgives me instantly."

Eddie glanced at Josh and said, "That’s not true, at all."

"She's a bit easier on me than she used to be," Buck said, scratching the back of his neck. "We didn't get off on the right foot. She loves Eddie, though."

"That's because I'm a nice boy," Eddie said loftily, "and I've always treated her with the respect she deserves."

Buck rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. You're not that nice."

Josh was eyeing them, a small smile on his face. "And what's your deal?" he asked Eddie. "Buck talks about you all the time. I know you've got a son?"

"Yeah, Christopher."

"Are you dating anyone or spending all your time with this goon here?"

He laughed. "Probably spending too much time with this goon. He and Christopher are best friends."

"Aw, that's sweet," Josh said, and then raised his eyebrows at Buck. "How are you ever going to find a Mrs Buck if you're not putting yourself out there?"

"Who said I'm looking?" Buck retorted. "I might be content to be a freewheeling bachelor, you don't know."

"Oh, right, right. I'm sure."

Chimney suddenly let out a piercing whistle and announced, "All right everyone, pick your partners – we're playing Pictionary."

Eddie groaned. "God, really?"

"Hey, you agreed to this," Buck said. "You know what they're like as well as I do. A pair of nerds."

"Total nerds. Listen up, Buck – I'm teaming up with you," Josh said, draping an arm around his shoulders. "Because I'm great at this and we're going to win."

Buck glanced at Eddie quickly and then said, "All right, but I'm terrible at this and we're going to suck, and you're going to hate me at the end of it."

Eddie swigged his beer, trying not to feel slighted, but then Albert was beside him and begging to be his partner – Chimney had threatened to put him with Hen, who would absolutely steamroll him.

~~

Josh hadn't been lying. He was very good at Pictionary, and even Buck was able to guess most of his pictures, even with his somewhat limited pop culture knowledge. Hen and Karen were passable, Maddie and Chimney were easily the best and won both rounds, and poor Eddie and Albert were more interested in getting drunk together and making each other laugh than they were in actually participating.

And Eddie kept looking over at him every so often, flashing him smiles, and Buck… _wanted him_ so fucking badly that he could hardly concentrate.

Chimney had a trivia game next, and they divided into two teams – Buck, Josh, Eddie and Albert on one side, and Maddie, Karen and Hen on the other, with Chimney reading out the questions. Josh was great at trivia as well – the entertainment side of it, at least. Buck was pretty good with the music and general knowledge questions, Eddie was great at the sport questions and Albert was drunk and just happy to be there with them.

The girls won convincingly – so convincingly, in fact, that Josh exchanged a confused look with Buck and said, "I think Chimney was giving them the answers."

Judging from the way Chimney was congratulating them, Buck had to agree that he was right, and Josh was on his feet and accusing them almost instantly. So trivia devolved into a playful shouting match, during which Eddie grabbed two more beers for him and Buck and then plopped right beside him on the couch, in Josh's vacated spot. As everyone was arguing, Eddie bumped his shoulder against Buck's and gave him another affectionate look, their hands lightly touching.

Buck gazed at him with adoration, admiring the deep brown of his eyes, the gentle curve of his lips and the cute dimples in his cheeks. He always smelled so good, and Buck knew if they were to kiss, he would make a little noise of happiness and melt into Buck's embrace. Eddie rubbed his chin on his shoulder, his eyes trained on Buck longingly.

And the spell was broken when Chimney announced, "Well, if it's going to be like that, we're playing Cards Against Humanity and you can put all this bitterness into your answers, all right?"

"Cheat," Josh said flatly. "You're a cheater, Chimney."

"Sore loser, I think!" Maddie teased.

"Ugh, does nobody have any common human decency anymore?" Josh complained, following Maddie into the kitchen. "You better have something decent for dessert to make it up to me, that's all I can say."

~

It was midnight when Buck and Eddie finally made their escape, ordering an Uber back to Buck's apartment. They were silent in the back, holding hands tightly. Eddie had his head turned to the side, gazing out the window, and Buck couldn't help but watch the lights flash over his profile.

Once inside Buck's apartment, they faced each other. Eddie tilted his head to the side, studying him inscrutably, and then murmured, "You drive me crazy."

"I know." Buck stepped in close to him, and Eddie's hands went to his waist instantly.

"I want you all the time." Eddie ducked his head, letting out a breath when Buck pressed his lips to his temple. "I want you with me."

"I am with you."

"All the time."

"You're drunk."

"Yeah, I am." Eddie pushed Buck's jacket off his shoulders and stroked his hands across his broad chest, covered only by a thin t-shirt. "Everyone loves you so much."

"I love _you_ ," Buck said to him, without thinking.

Eddie's eyes widened a bit. "I love you too," he blurted out, as though he'd been holding it in. "You love me? I love you!"

Buck couldn’t help but laugh, kissing him in response.

"Oh my god," Eddie said against his lips. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"I'm so in love with you."

"Yeah, me too."

"You're in love with you, too?!"

Buck broke into helpless giggles, burying his face against Eddie's neck. "You're so drunk," he groaned. "Beautiful Eddie, so drunk."

"Am not," he replied, swaying a little again, clutching Buck tightly. "Buck, Buck… I love you, right? But like… hang on, I'm gonna get this out, because it's right here," he said emphatically, tapping his forehead. "It's right here so listen to me seriously. Sometimes I think… I'm only there because of you, because… where you go, I go…" he trailed off, wetting his lips, his brow furrowed. "That they invite me because they have to invite me, because you wouldn't go…"

"Eddie, they're your friends too," Buck reminded him.

"But they love you." Eddie met his eyes. "You're going to be Chim's brother-in-law and I'm—"

"His friend, and my boyfriend," Buck reminded him, kissing his forehead. Eddie leaned into his touch, and then sighed, pulling away completely again, moving from the counter to the fridge to the wall, as though he couldn't stand still. "You okay, Eds?"

"No." Eddie gave him a bleary look. "You want to get married?"

"Right now?" Buck tried not to laugh – Eddie was so drunk, drunker than he'd ever seen him before, but he was past the point of happiness and was now veering into sad drunk territory.

"No but one day." Eddie sagged against the wall. "I'm going to be your husband."

"You are?"

"Yes."

Eddie gave him a slow smile. "And you're going to be my wife."

Buck snorted with laughter, stepping over to him and pulling him into a hug. "Sweet, drunken Eddie."

"I was such a bad husband, Buck," Eddie whispered in his ear. "I was terrible at it."

"Things were different then." They swayed back and forth together.

"I never loved her the way I love you. I never felt like this before, ever in my life." Eddie rested his chin on Buck's shoulder. "But I just keep thinking how bad I was, how I let her down all the time… how I wasn't there for her, and what if I do that to you too?"

"Things are different now," Buck reminded him. "You're older. You have a good job and stability. You made life better for yourself and Christopher. And I'm not Shannon."

"No." Eddie cast his hands across Buck's back, and then murmured, "Put some music on? Something slow and nice."

"Slow and nice?"

"Yeah. I promised you a dance, a long time ago, didn't I? And I never used to dance with Shannon…" Eddie's speech was a little slurred; his breath hot on Buck's neck. "She thought it was embarrassing. She thought I was embarrassing sometimes. Like… she'd look at me, and make a face, like… if I tried to be funny, you know, she wouldn't… she didn't understand me."

Without releasing him, Buck fished his phone out of his pocket and connected it to his Bluetooth speaker. He found a song and pressed play, and music filled the loft.

_My love must be a kind of blind love_

_I can't see anyone but you…_

"This is old," Eddie whispered in his ear.

"Mmm. The 50s."

"I like it."

Buck kissed his cheek and held him close. "I thought you would."

They swayed in time to the music, dancing silently. Eddie's hands pressed against Buck's waist and then slid up his back, and his breath hitched when the lyrics kicked in again.

_Are the stars out tonight_

_I don't know if it's cloudy or bright_

_I only have eyes for you dear…_

"God," he murmured, burying his face against Buck's neck.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothin'."

Buck pulled away slightly, touching his cheek, and when Eddie looked up at him he realised his eyes were shining with tears. "Hey," Buck whispered, leaning in to kiss his forehead. "It's okay."

"I'm going to disappoint you."

"No, you're not."

"They want you to meet someone special." Eddie blinked rapidly. "I'm not special."

"Yes, you are," Buck said solemnly, wiping a stray tear away with his thumb. "You _are._ "

"They might not think I'm good enough for you."

"They don't know what I want."

_Maybe millions of people go by_

_But they all disappear from view_

_And I only have eyes for you_

Eddie was fighting back his tears, biting down hard on his lower lip, and when Buck kissed him again he let out a sob. "They're going to be so disappointed."

"Eddie," Buck said, turning off the music and then lifting him up into his arms. "I only have eyes for you. And you're enough; you're the only person I want. I just want to be enough for you and Christopher."

Eddie nodded, wiping his tears away. "You are."

"And you are too. Come on." Buck kissed him, and when Eddie kissed him back he relaxed, spinning him around. "You're so drunk," he whispered, and Eddie gave a small nod. "Bedtime, I think."

"That sounds good." Eddie draped his arms over Buck's shoulders. "Carry me?"

"You're pretty heavy."

"But you're so strong, though, and I like it."

So Buck carried him up the stairs and set him down at the top, and they traded kisses at the bedside as they shed their clothes. Buck lay down and Eddie slid on top of him, finding his lips again, clasping Buck's hands in his. He lifted his head and whispered, "I'm going to do my best. I'm going to make you so happy."

Buck smiled at him. "I know you will."

"And they'll see that I'm good enough."

"It doesn't matter what anyone thinks. I only care about you and Christopher. You're my whole world. I'm yours," he said fiercely, and Eddie's eyes widened. "I'm yours, Eds. All yours."

"Mine," Eddie agreed, and kissed him again.

They rolled over on the bed, kissing and touching. Eddie was still wasted, and Buck didn't want to push things too far, so when Eddie ended up on his side with his head on the pillow, gazing at him with a soft smile on his face, Buck took the opportunity to pull the blankets up around them and tuck in beside him.

Eddie whispered, "Can you play that song again?"

"You liked it?"

"It's nice." Eddie fluttered his eyelashes and whispered, "Buck, I only have eyes for you too."

Buck found the song on his phone and pressed play again. "Good," he said quietly. "That's all I've ever wanted."

~~

Eddie awoke with a headache, sitting up in bed and groaning. Buck was still asleep beside him, the blankets pooled around his hips. He hadn't had a hangover in years – hadn't let himself drink so much that he couldn't function properly the next day – and so he pressed his palms to his eyes and groaned.

"Mmm." Buck stirred, opening his eyes sleepily. "You okay?"

"I have a hangover," Eddie said miserably, and flopped down beside him, pulling the blankets up over his head. "And we didn't even have sex."

Buck let out a low rumble of laughter. "Nope, but that's okay."

"It's not."

"Yeah, it is. It's eight o'clock, Eds. You have to pick Chris up in an hour."

He groaned again.

"So that means we have a shower," Buck said, throwing the covers off him, "and if you're nice to me, I'll give you a blow job."

"We need another night," Eddie complained, sitting up again. "Our night was taken away from us. I'm sorry I drank too much."

"I'm not." Buck leaned over to kiss him firmly. "I got to dance with you last night, so that's fine with me."

That memory flooded his mind, and Eddie closed his eyes. "That song. How did you know that song?"

Buck shrugged at him. "I heard it somewhere; added it to my collection. Never found the right person to play it to until I met you."

Eddie smiled at him, and then another memory flashed into his mind. "Buck… did I tell you I loved you last night?"

"Only after I said it first." Buck slid his hand down Eddie's back.

He was angry at himself – that was not how he wanted that to go; with him acting like a drunken idiot. He took a quick look at Buck, who was gazing up at him with concern, and said, "I wanted that to be perfect."

"It was perfect."

"No." He rubbed his eyes, let out a sigh and then flopped onto his back again. "I wanted to tell you somewhere special."

"What's more special than in the entryway to my apartment, with you barely keeping upright, smelling of booze?"

He rolled his eyes, groaning when Buck leaned in to kiss his cheek. "Stop it."

"Stop over-thinking it," Buck said into his ear. "I love you, Eddie."

Eddie met his eyes, reaching up to touch his cheek. "I love you too, Buck."

"See? Easy." Buck kissed him again.

It was easy. Easier than anything that had ever come before – the way he felt; the thought of spending the rest of his life with Buck. It all made sense to him.

When Buck pulled away again, Eddie said quietly, "It is different now. Isn't it? I've never felt like this before."

"Me either." Buck smiled at him. "But you're going to be late if you don't get up and have a shower, you old drunk."

He groaned. "Shit."

"Need a hand?"

"If you're offering," he said with a grin, and Buck raised his eyebrows suggestively. "Come on then, don't tease me."

~~

The following Monday brought a mostly slow day at work, which was disrupted in the early evening when the team were called to the marina. A party boat was ablaze near the harbour walls, and while the Coast Guard had been dispatched, they wouldn't arrive for at least another fifteen minutes.

The large white motor yacht, covered in multi-coloured party lights, was spewing smoke and flames from the top deck when they arrived on the scene. Bobby ordered them into dinghies, and they headed out towards the burning vessel, where a group of partygoers were gathered on the stern. Girls in sparkly mini-dresses and heels were screaming for help, the back of the vessel dangerously overloaded.

"We need to get people off as quickly and as orderly as possible," Bobby ordered them as they pulled alongside the stricken vessel. Frantic people were leaning over the side of the boat, screaming for help, and suddenly there was an explosion from inside the cabin and the glass windows blew out.

Bobby steered the boat away before Buck and Eddie could climb on board, and a group of terrified people leapt over the side and into the water, splashing frantically.

"We're going to start pulling people out," Bobby called to them. "Buck, Eddie, you two get on board and check for stragglers, all right?"

"On it, Cap," Buck replied. Their boat pulled alongside, and he was able to climb up the railing, Eddie at his heels. A group of about twenty people were cowering at the stern, waiting for rescue. "Where's the captain?" he asked the group briskly. A terrified girl of about 20 stepped forward.

"He left, the crew left," she sobbed. "They took off in a boat and headed to shore."

Buck glanced at Eddie, who looked up at the blazing superstructure of the boat. "Is there anyone unaccounted for?" Buck asked her. "How many people were on board?"

"About forty? Maybe? It's my cousin's birthday and I don't know where she is. I don't know who is still inside."

Buck nodded at her, stepping over beside Eddie. "We'll have to go in," he said. Eddie nodded, adjusting his helmet and mask.

"Yeah, quickly," Eddie replied, and radioed Bobby. "Cap, we think there are a possible forty passengers. The captain and crew abandoned ship. We're going to head inside and see if there's anyone left."

"Copy that," Bobby replied. "The boat doesn't appear to be taking on water but don't take any chances. Do a quick sweep and get out of there."

"Copy," Eddie replied, glancing at Buck again. "Okay. Let's go."

The interior of the deck was smoky, but flames were licking up a stairwell from the deck below. Buck leaned down as far as he could, but the below deck was well ablaze.

"Can't get down," he shouted at Eddie, who nodded.

They searched as quickly and thoroughly as they could. Buck found a man, crumpled near the bow, overcome with smoke inhalation. He whistled to Eddie and they both picked him up, carrying him back out to the stern.

Almost as soon as they were outside there was another explosion from deep down in the bowels of the vessel, and it lifted out of the water before wallowing again, sending a wave crashing over the rescue boats. The group of people left on the stern screamed and began to leap overboard desperately. Buck was helping Eddie with the unconscious passenger when a girl in a bright red sparkly dress was shoved backwards by one of the other frantic passengers, slamming her head against a metal bar. He was reaching for her when she stumbled backwards and simply fell overboard, unconscious.

"I'll get her," he shouted at Eddie, who nodded at him. "Tell Bobby."

"Yep, go."

Buck shed his jacket, oxygen tank, mask and helmet and climbed up on the railing. He dived overboard, in full view of the boat containing Bobby, Hen and Chim, and swam beneath the waves.

The water was hot close to the boat. Lights were illuminating him from above, and when he turned to look at the boat, he realised that the hull was practically glowing red. He swam further away, holding his breath – his Navy SEAL training kicking in – searching for the girl in the red dress.

She was nowhere to be seen. He turned around again, searching desperately, and finally spotted a flash of red sinking to the bottom. His lungs were burning but he swam towards her regardless – if he lost sight, he'd never find her again.

~~

Buck had been under for too long. Eddie was off the main vessel and onto the rescue boat beside Bobby, leaning over the side, his heart pounding in his chest. Five soaking wet passengers were huddled together in the bow, shaking and crying.

"Where is he?" he heard Chimney call from the other side. "I can't see him anymore."

"Keep the lights trained on the water," Bobby shouted at them. "He'll need all the help he can get."

The party boat was settling low in the water, and Eddie happened to glance over as flames erupted from the stern, sending sparks into the sky.

"Move back!" he shouted at Bobby. "We have to get further back!"

The other boats were already heading back to shore, filled with injured passengers. Eddie leaned over the side of their dinghy, searching for Buck desperately. It had been minutes, too long – too fucking long, maybe Buck's gear had weighed him down? Maybe he'd gotten hurt under the water when he dived in?

Eddie was already stripping out of his gear, preparing to go over the side, when Chimney shouted, "He's there! To your left!"

And sure enough Buck had surfaced, nowhere near where he'd first entered the water but still close to the burning yacht, and he had the girl in his arms in the lifesaving position. When Bobby turned the boat towards him, he threw a hand over his head and Eddie heard him scream, "Stop!"

"Stop," he shouted at Bobby, who immediately throttled down.

Buck pointed to the harbour wall, out of the way of the boat, and began to swim towards it determinedly.

"There's something wrong; he must've seen something," Eddie said to Bobby, who nodded in response.

"Look!" Chimney suddenly shouted, pointing back at the burning party boat. The white hull was glowing red, and the water around it was bubbling.

"It's boiling," Eddie realised, his blood running cold. "Holy shit."

Buck reached the harbour wall and looked over at them. Bobby throttled up and headed towards him, cutting through the waves. As they reached him there was an almighty explosion from deep inside the boat, and Eddie turned just as flames and steam burst out of the burning hull. The boat wallowed again, listing heavily to the port side, and then began to sink beneath the waves – steam hissed and the water churned as it slowly tipped onto its side. Another explosion sent flames and sparks shooting up into the sky again, before the waves claimed it, and the vessel sank slowly from view.

"God," Chimney said in shock, and then reached over the side of the boat to help Buck. "Come on, Buckaroo, pass her over."

The girl was still unconscious, watery blood streaming down her face. Chimney and Eddie dragged her on board, and while Chimney was distracted with her, Eddie reached a hand over the side to help Buck aboard. Buck climbed up and over the side, embracing Eddie briefly, and then doubling over to cough and spit out a mouthful of water.

"You okay, Buck?" Bobby shouted at him.

Buck nodded, holding out his hand in a thumbs up.

"Eddie, I need you here," Chimney said desperately. "She's not breathing and there's no pulse."

He knelt beside him, performing chest compressions as Chimney rendered CPR. Bobby had turned the boat around and was heading to the shore, while Buck sat on the stern, watching them anxiously. She was unresponsive when they made it to shore, but they kept trying, hoping she would cough up a mouthful of water.

She didn't.

Bobby called it after ten minutes of compressions. Buck swore, on the verge of tears, and stalked away.

~

They didn't make it back to the station until almost midnight. Buck was quiet, out of the truck and heading for the showers as soon as they arrived, his head down. Eddie followed him, holding up his hands to the others in a silent, ' _I'll handle it_ ' gesture.

He found Buck stripping out of his damp clothes, tossing them aside, and sat on the bench behind him. They were alone, so he said quietly, "You did everything you could."

Buck glanced back at him. "Wasn't enough," he muttered, unbuckling his belt.

"She was dead before you reached her, Buck. Her skull was cracked."

Buck just shrugged, turning his back on Eddie. "Not good enough."

"Buck."

"Eds, just… I don't want to talk about it, all right? Jesus." His voice cracked. He yanked some clean clothes out of his locker and stormed into the showers. Eddie hesitated and then followed him in, leaning against the wall, watching Buck as he aggressively rubbed soap all over his body. "Enjoying the show?" he snapped at Eddie, his eyes flaring.

"Buck."

"What?"

"It is not your fault."

"Fuck off." Buck turned his back on him again. There were bruises on his hips and love bites on his shoulders, and Eddie wanted nothing more than to shed his clothes and join him under the spray, pull him into his arms and kiss the anger away, but he couldn't. Not until they finished work, at least.

Eddie was silent for so long that Buck finally glanced over at him, relenting. "Sorry," he said. "I just… she was only a kid. I thought I had her."

"You did everything you could. You held your breath for so long; I was freaking out."

"I had training for that. Underwater rescues." Buck rinsed off and turned off the taps, grabbing his towel. "I couldn't find her at first, and it was so hot. I was worried you guys were going to get too close."

"I was only thinking about you." Eddie lifted his chin, and Buck met his eyes. "We'll stay at yours tomorrow. I'll organise a sitter for Christopher."

"Okay."

"Just… need you."

"Yeah, I need you too," Buck murmured. "Okay. I'm all right, Eds. I'm just angry."

"I know. Come upstairs and get some food when you're ready."

"Okay."

"Love you," Eddie whispered to him.

Buck flashed him a quick smile. "Love you too."

~~

After Eddie left, Buck returned to the locker room and was standing there in fresh uniform pants, about to put his shirt on, when Chimney walked into the room and let out a low whistle.

"Shit, Buck," he said with concern. "What happened to your back?"

_Fuck._

"Nothing," he replied, pulling his shirt on quickly.

"Doesn't really look like nothing," Chimney said quizzically. "Did you hit something in the water?"

"No, I'm fine." He pointedly ignored him, but when he turned around Chimney was still standing there, arms folded across his chest. "What?" Buck asked, unable to keep the frustration out of his voice. "Everything is fine. Stop staring at me like that."

"Are you dating again?" Chimney asked in a low voice. "Because they kind of look like… sex bruises."

"It's really none of your business."

"Yeah, but—"

"No buts. I'm fine." Buck slammed his locker shut and left the room, ignoring the concerned look on Chimney's face. He checked his watch – it was 1am, and no one would think anything of it if he went up to the bunk rooms to get some sleep. Eddie and Hen tried calling him over to the kitchen for some food, but he waved them off and disappeared into the bunks. He expected Eddie to follow him, but he was surprised when Hen said his name from the door.

"Buck, I'm just worried about you," she said gently. "I didn't get to check you after you were in the water for so long. Are you all right? You didn't inhale any, did you?"

"No, I’m fine," he replied. "I can hold my breath. It's okay."

"Are you sure you're not hungry?" Hen took another step into the room.

"I'm fine. I promise you that I'm fine." He was still annoyed, but trying not to take his bad mood out on her.

"Okay. Just checking. Get some rest."

**~*~*~**

_**Maddie** _

"So he just… stayed underwater for like, three minutes?" Maddie asked Chimney, who nodded at her with wide eyes.

"It was _crazy._ He did this perfect swan dive off the side of the boat, and then he just vanished. Eddie and I were leaning over the side of the boat with flashlights, trying to see him, and then he popped up about a hundred yards away with the girl in his arms. Eddie was nearly ready to dive in after him." Chimney was working his way through a sandwich, and he paused in his story to take another bite and chew, before continuing. "Then, afterwards, I walk into the locker room and Buck's standing there without a shirt on, bruises all over his back. Like, hand prints and stuff."

" _What?_ " she hissed, grabbing his hand tightly. "What do you mean?! Like… someone beat him up?"

Chimney shook his head. "No, more like he's having vigorous sex with someone."

"But _bruises_ , Chim." Maddie was filled with a terror she couldn't really put into words. The thought that someone might be hurting _Buck_ , her sweet and lovely brother, was horrifying. "We have to do something."

"Hey, he wouldn't talk to me about it, but I'm pretty sure it's consensual fun," Chimney replied, trying to reassure her.

"But he wouldn't talk to you about it?"

"No? That's not unusual. He can keep things to himself if he wants to." Chimney gave her a worried look, and said gently, "If it was anything more I'd be worried, but this just looks like… he's having sex with someone and it gets a little rough sometimes."

"But I don't want that for him. I don't want anyone hurting him." Maddie sat back in her seat, her hand over her lips. "Why wouldn't he tell us if he was seeing someone?"

"Maybe he's sleeping around," Chimney suggested. "He could be on Tinder or something."

The door to the café opened and Josh strode in, looking harried. Maddie held her hand up to him and he gave an exaggerated huff, cutting through the tables to join them. "Boy, have I had a morning," he complained, kissing Maddie on the cheek briefly before taking a seat beside her. "The water went off at my apartment and I had to call the plumber, and then I got caught in traffic, and then this idiot in a Porsche tried to steal my park from me. It has been a _day._ How are you guys? Did you see that boat fire last night? Crazy stuff."

"Yeah, we responded to it," Chimney replied. "I was telling Maddie what a hero Buck was."

"Well, that's unsurprising, he is a big damn hero all of the time." Josh flagged down the waitress, flashing a smile at her. "Can I get a cappuccino and one of the apple muffins?" She wrote down his order and vanished again.

Maddie said, "Josh, Chimney thinks that Buck is sleeping around again. He's got bruises on his back." She was quietly freaking out, unable to stop thinking about it.

"Bruises? What kind of bruises?"

Chimney sighed. "Like vigorous sex stuff," he said in a low voice. "I don't think it's a big deal."

"Maybe he's on the apps again," Josh suggested. "He was on Grindr for ages."

Maddie paused. "Grindr. Not Tinder?"

"Probably both. Why?" Josh gave her a quizzical look.

"Buck's not gay," Chimney said with a laugh, picking up the other half of his sandwich. "No way."

"Uh… he's bisexual?" Josh was staring at them like they were a pair of idiots. "How did you not know this?"

Maddie exchanged a look with Chimney, who shrugged. "He's only ever talked about girls," he replied, totally bewildered.

"He's never mentioned it to me. I've made jokes a couple of times, but he's never… he never said anything to me; he's never come out… he…" Maddie trailed off. Was she the world's worst sister? How did she not _know_ this?

"He marches in Pride, but Hen told me that he marches as an ally and because he likes to strut around in hardly any clothes," Chimney added.

Josh raised his eyebrows. "He marches in Pride because he's bi, you guys."

"No."

"Yes! I'm not making this up!"

"You have no evidence," Maddie argued. "This is just based on nothing."

Josh groaned. "Maddie, he used to go to a gay bar all the time. I knew Buck before I knew he was your brother."

"You slept with my brother?" she hissed at him.

He made a face. "God, no. He's not my type. He's fucking gorgeous, don't get me wrong, but not my type," he said emphatically. "When I knew him, he was dating this tall redheaded guy. They used to come to the bar and make-out and dance. And then I didn't see him for ages, and then he reappeared with another guy about six months before I met you, and then… the next time I saw him, he was in here with Athena, and you'd been abducted. I don't think he would have any idea that I knew who he was before we met."

Maddie had her hand to her lips, stunned. "But why wouldn't he tell me this?"

Josh shrugged. "I don't think he was ashamed of it; he was pretty open and friendly with everyone - it wasn't like he was hiding. Maybe he just wasn't interested in guys for a long time or something, I don't know. Wasn't he dating Abby Clark for a while? Maybe he was off men. It happens, I think. I know some bisexual people," he said confidently. "I feel like this is a thing that happens." Was it? He really didn't know many bisexual people, but it sounded good.

"You said he was on Grindr," Chimney pointed out.

"He was? For a while, anyway." Josh pulled his phone out of his pocket to check. "I mean, it shows people in your general location and it tells you whether they're online, but like… nothing's coming up now. He's not on here anymore."

"So maybe he's on Tinder then," Maddie said to Chimney, "and he is seeing someone."

"Or maybe he just downloads the apps when he wants to hook up and then deletes his profile after," Josh said. "Why are you freaking out about this? Last time I checked, Buck was a grown man."

"Because of the bruises!" she hissed, on the verge of tears. "If someone is hurting him, I need to make sure he's okay."

Josh winced. "Okay. I know. I think he's fine, though."

"I do too," Chimney said, taking her hand, "but I'll keep an eye on him at work. Okay? Let's not freak out about it just yet – if we go charging in and demanding to know what's going on, it'll only piss him off. And I hate when Buck is pissed off, because it usually means Eddie is pissed off too, and the pair of them are annoying enough as it is."

"Eddie's so hot thought," Josh murmured. "Super hot. Like, ten out of ten. I would definitely."

"Eddie's straight," Maddie replied, and then grimaced. "Is he?"

"Yes, definitely," Chimney replied confidently. "I'm one hundred percent sure of that."

"So maybe we feel Buck out," Josh suggested. "There's a new girl at dispatch. We could set them up? She seems nice and she's around his age. If he turns it down, we know there's someone else. I feel bad that you didn't know he was bi – I don't think you should charge in there and demand he come out to you."

"We're not going to, right Maddie?" Chimney asked, rubbing her shoulder.

She nodded. "No. He needs to tell us himself."

"And if he is keeping it a secret, we need to keep that secret for him," Josh added, raising his eyebrows at Chimney. "That means you, Gossip King of the 118."

"Hold up, I'm not even that bad—"

"You _are._ "

**~*~*~**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Eddie knew what was going to happen. Buck would have to say yes. There was no reason not to. He hadn't been on a date in a long time, and Maddie had found someone for him, and he would just have to say yes._

Buck rolled out of bed, stretching his arms out over his head. Eddie was still asleep, the sheet draped over his waist, and Buck leaned over to pull it up around his shoulders, tucking him back in.

It was nearly 4pm, and after the night they'd had, the sex hadn't been as intense as it usually was. They were both tired and had intermittently napped and made love throughout the day. They had until six before they needed to head over to Eddie's house, and that meant there was enough time for some more making out.

He was sore, muscles aching a bit, but pleasantly so. He went into the bathroom to relieve himself and brush his teeth, and when he returned Eddie was on his stomach with his head in the pillow, breathing heavily. Eddie didn't snore – his breathing simply evened out when he was in a deep sleep, but sometimes he did drool a bit. And he was a cuddler. He liked to wrap himself around Buck; always touching. Buck _loved it._

He sat on the edge of the bed and checked his phone. He'd taken a photo of Eddie during the day, sitting cross-legged in bed, shirtless, laughing at him, and he ran his finger over the screen, wishing he could tell _someone_ how fucking pumped he was. God, he wanted to scream it from the rooftops – _Eddie Diaz picked me. Eddie Diaz is in love with me. Eddie Diaz is my boyfriend._

But he couldn’t. He'd made a promise.

"Mmmff." Eddie huffed out a breath.

Buck lay down beside him, watching as Eddie slowly opened his eyes and looked around. His gaze settled on Buck and he relaxed, smiling sleepily.

"Time?"

"Four."

"Shit. Gotta leave at six." Eddie let out a sigh, reaching one arm out, sliding it over Buck's chest. "C'mere."

So he did, moving so he was lying on his stomach beside him, one arm around Eddie's shoulders. Eddie's eyes were closed again, but a smile was playing on his lips."Stay at our place this week."

He shook his head. "I can't. I'm helping Maddie on my days off, with packing and everything."

Eddie groaned.

"I know."

"Don't want to be apart." Eddie dragged his fingers through Buck's hair and then down the length of his spine. "Need you."

"I need you too, I just… I can't, you know, with Chris…"

"Yeah." Eddie swallowed hard. "Fuck. I could put a lock on the door."

"The walls are still pretty thin, Eds." Buck leaned in and kissed his forehead, over and over, until Eddie was smiling and pulling away from him. "I can park out the front and you can make out with me in my car, if you want."

"Well." Eddie was on his side, grinning at him, the sheet slipping down to reveal more of his body. Buck reached out and pressed his hand against his chest, holding it there, feeling the beating of his heart beneath his fingers.

"You want me now, Eds?" Buck asked quietly. "Before you go? I can go again."

"Sure?"

"Yeah, I want to. Going to miss you all week."

Eddie considered him. "Maybe you should top sometime," he suggested, and Buck's mouth went dry. "If you want."

"You want me to? I didn't think you would."

"I might want to know what all the fuss is about." Eddie sat up, kicking the sheets off, and moving so he was straddling Buck's hips. He dragged his hands down Buck's back and then up again, digging his fingers, working out the knots in his muscles.

Buck let out a moan of appreciation, burying his head in a pillow. The bed shifted as Eddie reached over to grab the lube, and a moment later Buck felt slick fingers press against him. There wasn't much resistance. They'd been making love most of the day.

Eddie wasted no time sliding in with one thrust, filling him up. Buck let out a moan, arching his back, reaching between his legs to stroke himself as Eddie worked up a rhythm, grabbing his ass, digging his fingers into the soft flesh, leaving marks. Buck wondered what they looked like, like this, and almost wished he had a mirror so he could see Eddie's face; could see the way he put his hands all over Buck as though he was staking a claim. Sometimes there were love bites, on his hips and between his legs, usually on the inner thigh where no one could see it. Buck liked it a little rough; liked to feel the burn when he moved around the day after they'd had sex.

He liked it when Eddie was soft and gentle – and he was, a lot of the time – but he loved it when Eddie took what he wanted. With other guys he'd usually topped – Steve was the exception, and they'd been versatile – but he was all Eddie's. It wasn't even a question. Buck belonged to Eddie now; there was no one else, there never would be anyone else.

Eddie suddenly grabbed him and pulled him up, so Buck's back was pressed flush against his chest. He spread his legs wider; Eddie's bent knees between his thighs – and Eddie wrapped one hand around his throat, the other on his cock, and fucked him with short, sharp thrusts.

Buck went dizzy, slack, his thighs burning. He dropped his head back, almost so it was on Eddie's shoulder, and whimpered when Eddie bit his earlobe.

"Mine," Eddie growled in his ear, stroking him in time with his thrusts. "Mine."

" _Yes_." Buck could hardly speak.

"Move your hips," Eddie ordered, and stilled. Buck shuddered, on the brink of orgasm, and somehow found it in him to drag himself up and down, fucking himself on Eddie's cock, gasping, sweating and shaking. Eddie answered his movements with one short, hard thrust of his own and Buck cried out, his orgasm ripping through his body, spilling on Eddie's hand and the sheets. Eddie laughed in his ear and kissed the back of his neck, sliding one hand down his chest, twisting his nipple and then pushing him down so he was face-down on the bed again. Eddie covered him with his body, his lips and tongue hot on Buck's shoulders, and suddenly it was even more intense than before, as he rolled his hips smoothly, over and over, breathing heavily.

Buck moaned, shuddering with an aftershock, and arched his hips a bit. Eddie paused, adjusted himself, and fucked him in quick strokes until he was gasping out Buck's name as he came. He shuddered with his release and slumped on top of him heavily, letting out a satisfied chuckle.

"Shit," Buck managed to say, his mouth dry. "Fucking Christ."

Eddie kissed the back of Buck's neck again. "Had to make it worth it," he replied as he slowly pulled out. "We're going to have to figure out how to soundproof my bedroom." He flopped on his back on the bed, trying to catch his breath.

Buck nodded, his face buried in the pillow.

Eddie's hand ghosted down his back. "Maybe I'm gripping you too hard? You've got bruises on your hips."

"Mmm, I like it," he said, and then remembered that Chimney had already seen him without his shirt on. "Shit. Chim saw me last night after my shower; he was asking me about it."

"Fuck," Eddie said worriedly. "What'd you say?"

"That it was none of his business." Buck turned his head to the side, giving him a long look. "I hope he keeps his mouth shut."

"Chimney's never kept his mouth shut in his life," Eddie complained, giving him a little push before sitting up. "Come on. Shower, and then we gotta go. Come on, baby."

At that Buck lifted his head, arching his eyebrows, and laughed when Eddie was suddenly pecking kisses all over his face. "Baby?" he asked disbelievingly, as Eddie physically rolled him over and continued kissing him aggressively. "Baby? What's this then?"

"Shhh." Eddie's lips were on his mouth, silencing him. Buck melted beneath him, feeling worn out, but in a good way. Like he'd last another week without Eddie's hands or mouth on his body.

And then Eddie was pulling him up and out of bed, dragging him into the bathroom for a shower, pushing him up against the tiles and soaping him up vigorously. Buck let him do it, because this was his favourite part – when Eddie tended to him, soothed his sore points and took care of him.

"Am I really your baby?" he asked, glancing over his shoulder at him. No one had ever called him that before.

Eddie grinned. His hands slipped between Buck's cheeks, where it was still sensitive, and Buck hissed. "Sorry," Eddie apologised, dropping a kiss to his shoulders. "And yeah, you are. You okay? Too much?"

"No, it's good. I'm all right."

"You'd tell me, right?"

"Yeah, I would. I promise I would."

"I didn't squeeze too tight on your neck?" Eddie's hand went to Buck's throat again, feeling for his pulse.

Buck chuckled. "You didn't squeeze at all. Stop worrying. I trust you."

Eddie kissed his shoulders again before turning him back around. He pushed Buck under the spray to rinse him off, and then reached over to shut the water off, gazing at him seriously. "I meant what I said, about you topping." Eddie lifted his chin. "I meant it."

"You just tell me when. You tell me what you want, and I'll do it."

"Okay." Eddie leaned in to kiss him, and when he pulled away, he said fiercely, "I love you, Evan Buckley. I fucking love you so fucking much. I can't believe how much I love you."

Shocked, Buck barked out a laugh, which made Eddie snort as well, and they hugged tightly. Buck said in his ear, "I fucking love you so goddamn much, you absolute fucking stud," and Eddie let out a burst of laughter, echoing in the bathroom.

~

Eddie arrived at the station for the start of his shift the following morning, and found Buck already there, sitting with Chimney and Maddie at the kitchen table. A furniture magazine was spread out in front of them, open to the baby section.

Poor Buck looked utterly bewildered."So you want me to… what?"

"What we need is for you to come over and help Chimney put the baby furniture together," Maddie explained. "The doctor said that I'm meant to be off my feet as much as possible."

"But you're still allowed to work."

"Yes, I have a desk job," Maddie said patiently, "but because this is a geriatric pregnancy, I have to take it easy. So no trips to the furniture store; no helping pack stuff – I really need your help, Evan."

"What's going on?" Eddie asked, fastening his watch.

"Buck is getting a head start on being the best uncle ever by helping us buy and build all the furniture and move both of our apartments into one brand new house," Chimney explained, raising his eyebrows at Eddie. "So run. Run while you still can."

Eddie grinned at them, and then peered at the brochure. "If you need a hand…"

"I can do it," Buck said, narrowing his eyes at Eddie. "Nice try. Coming in here, trying to steal my thunder as world's best uncle. I see you, Diaz."

Eddie held up his hands and backed away, grinning as he went to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. "Well, when you suddenly need to defer to my expertise, I'll forget you said that."

"Maddie!" he heard Hen say, turning around to watch the two women embrace. "What brings you here?"

"Good, we're sorting out all the baby stuff," she said excitedly. "We start moving into the house this weekend. Buck's going to help us."

"Yes," Buck agreed dryly. "I am. I haven't been strong-armed into this at all." He looked over at Eddie then, raising his eyebrows.

Eddie smiled at him.

"You know, when you have kids of your own," Chimney said, patting Buck's shoulder sympathetically, "you'll be all over this. This is just a good learning experience for you, Buckaroo."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Speaking of, I can set you up with someone," Maddie said eagerly, and Eddie's heart plummeted into his stomach. "She's new at dispatch. Her name's Gwen, and she's super cute. Josh and I think you guys would really hit it off."

Buck shook his head firmly. "Not interested. Thanks."

Eddie watched as concerned looks passed between them, and then Maddie sat down beside Buck again, her hand on his shoulder. "Is everything okay? You haven't been on a date in so long."

He looked around at them all in turn, seeming to realise that they were all worried about him. Eddie could read his mind – he _knew_ Buck wanted to look over at him as well but was forcing himself not to. The stiffness in his shoulders; the way he was holding his head – he was doing everything he could not to turn towards Eddie.

Eddie knew what was going to happen. Buck would have to say yes. There was no reason not to. He hadn't been on a date in a long time, and Maddie had found someone for him, and he would just have to say yes.

Finally, Buck did look over at him, not for help, but almost apologetically, and said, "I just… I mean, I don't know, it's been so long. I don't know."

And then Maddie was rubbing his back and saying reassuring things; and they were all telling him how wonderful he was and that he deserved to meet someone nice. Maddie had her phone out to show him a picture of this woman, and Buck was nodding. Eddie's heart was like a lump of coal in his chest.

~~

Buck had to say yes. What else could he do? Eddie had taken it in stride, but there were tears in his eyes when they finally stole a minute alone to talk, and his voice was strained when he whispered, "Please don't fall in love with her," in Buck's ear, like that could ever actually happen.

Buck wanted to say to him that they could end this now; that he could tell Maddie he was seeing Eddie and leave it at that, but the words died on his lips. Eddie was scared, and he wasn't ready, and Buck wasn't going to force him out of the closet.

On Friday night, his night off – the night he was supposed to be spending with Eddie at his apartment, because Christopher was having a sleepover at Hen's house – he met Gwen for a coffee at a funky café/bookshop near work. She was a nice chick, funny and cool, with short pink hair and one of those ear-piercings with the bar across the ear. She had tattoos on her hands and wore a lot of jewellery; she laughed at his jokes and leaned in, touching his arm, and ordinarily he'd be flattered.

But his mind was on Eddie. Had been all week, because they hadn't been able to spend a night together, not even to share a bed, and he was aching for his touch.

Afterwards he walked her to her car, and she turned to him with a questioning look and said, "You're not interested, are you? You're a nice guy, and you laughed in all the right places, but you've been somewhere else all night."

He said apologetically, "I'm sorry. It's not you."

"Then what is it?" she asked curiously.

He shoved his hands in his pockets uncomfortably. "I've been seeing someone for a while now, and my sister doesn't know. I didn't know how to tell her that I wasn't interested in dating."

"Ah," Gwen replied, fishing her keys out of her bag. "You're seeing a guy, aren't you?"

He nodded.

"Why doesn't your sister know?"

"Nobody knows I'm bi."

"It's 2020, dude. Maybe you should tell your friends."

He laughed awkwardly, and said, "It's not me. I would tell them. My… boyfriend doesn't want me to. He's scared, and… I love him. So for now, this is what he wants. Please don't say anything to Maddie about this."

Gwen smiled at him. "I hardly even know Maddie," she replied. "I only started working there a couple of weeks ago. Josh was the one who brought you up, and I thought you sounded like a nice guy, and when they showed me a picture, I thought you were pretty hot. But I'm not going to stand in the way of true love, and I promise I won't say anything. I get the feeling Josh is a real gossip."

Buck laughed. "Yeah, he is. Nice guy, but he loves to talk. Thanks a lot, though. I really appreciate it. I'm sorry… I'm sorry about this, I really am."

"All good, Buck." Gwen held her fist out, and he bumped it with his own. "Go get your man."

"You'll be all right, though? Getting home, I mean?"

"I had one coffee. I think I'll be fine." Gwen grinned at him, sliding into her car. "See you around."

"Yeah, you too." Buck watched her drive away, and then turned on his heel and went to his car, texting Eddie. _'Finished. Coming to u now._ '

Eddie replied, _'At yours. Waiting.'_

And he was there when Buck arrived, sitting on the stairs, a dark and brooding look on his face. Buck threw his keys and wallet on the bench and went to him, crawling up between his legs and pressing his lips to Eddie's in a greeting. Eddie grabbed him by the hips and pulled him up bodily, hooking his legs around Buck's waist. Buck said, "Nothing happened," but Eddie whimpered and clung to him like he'd been drowning and was desperate for a rescue.

Buck got to his knees, pulling Eddie up with him, and physically lifted him up, carrying him up the stairs to the bed. He laid him down carefully, peeling off his clothes one by one, reassuring him with kisses and touches to each new patch of skin he bared. He licked along Eddie's collarbone and kissed the mole on his shoulder; he counted his ribs with his fingers and lay his head on Eddie's chest to hear his heartbeat; he examined his hands and arms, kissing them reverently; he ran his hands down Eddie's firm thighs to his calves and kissed his ankles, as Eddie stared at him with lustful eyes. Buck sat between his splayed legs and trailed his fingers along the 'V' of his hips and then bent down, nipping at the muscle with his teeth, before biting down hard.

Eddie let out a ragged moan, twisting his fingers in Buck's hair.

Buck sucked on the bite mark and kissed it, nuzzled his face between Eddie's thighs and then wrapped his lips around his perfect cock. He was good at this; good at making Eddie come; knew exactly what he liked – a bit of pressure at the base, a lot of saliva and suction. Eddie was freshly showered, and Buck stroked him with one hand as he dropped his head lower and sucked his balls, rolling them on his tongue. And then lower again, lifting Eddie's hips up, pressing his tongue against the tight ring of muscle, tasting him for the first time. He wanted everything, every little piece of him.

Eddie was keening and shaking beneath him, his hand still twisted in Buck's hair. Buck pushed his legs apart and buried his face there, lapping at his entrance. He reached into his pocket to pull out a packet of lube and coated his fingers, pulling away long enough to look up at Eddie for permission. Eddie nodded at him, his face flushed, lower lip swollen from where he'd been biting down on it.

Buck pressed the first finger inside slowly, and bent down to suck his cock again, while he gently worked his finger in and out, until he was confident enough to insert another. Eddie was making noises Buck had never heard before, writhing on the bed, gasping and panting. Buck pulled away to admire his handiwork, crooking his fingers, looking up at him – fuck, he looked _gorgeous_. His head was thrown back, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat – he looked so damn good, so fucking amazing, that Buck was undoing his pants with one hand and pulling his cock out, already rock hard.

"Lube," he said, and Eddie was aware enough to reach for it on the bedside table and throw it at him. "I'm gonna fuck you, Eds," he said, his throat tight. "I'm going to fuck you, all right?"

"Yeah, yes, please," Eddie begged, spreading his legs wider. "Please."

Buck thrust his fingers in and out, adding a third. He flicked open the lid of the lube and withdrew his fingers long enough to coat them again before working them back inside, spreading Eddie open. Buck's dick was pretty big, and he wanted to make sure that he wasn't going to hurt him when he finally pushed inside.

"Please," Eddie whimpered, propping himself up on his elbows. "Buck, please. You didn't kiss her, did you? Tell me you didn't."

"I didn't." Buck bent over to suck his cock again, crooking his fingers, trying to find his prostate. When he did, Eddie shuddered violently, dropping back onto the bed with his mouth open. Buck kept at it for a while, watching his face, how he swallowed reflexively and fisted the sheets with his hands, panting heavily.

"You didn't—oh my god, oh my god," Eddie sobbed. "She didn't touch you, did she? She didn't—"

"No." Buck withdrew his fingers, slicked up his cock, still sticking out of his pants, and slowly pushed inside.

Eddie's mouth fell open. He stared up at Buck with huge, unseeing eyes, hands gripping the sheets. Buck pushed all the way in, filling him up, bottoming out. Eddie took it but he wasn't moving or breathing, just staring up at him wildly.

And then suddenly he grabbed a fistful of Buck's sweater, stretching it, and practically snarled, "I'll fucking kill anyone who touches you," and Buck laughed, because of course that was what he was thinking – because when Eddie wanted something, when he claimed it, it was his, and Buck was his. Buck might as well have Eddie's named tattooed on his face because there was no going back now.

He was still buried inside, but hadn't moved, and he pulled his sweater up and over his head, tossing it aside. Tears were leaking down Eddie's cheeks, and Buck bent over him, licking them off his face. And then he began to thrust, slowly at first until he built up a rhythm. He grabbed Eddie's left leg and put it on his shoulder, and Eddie gave a high-pitched whine, holding onto the back of Buck's neck with both hands.

"You're big," he managed to say. "So fucking big."

"Feels good, babe? You like it? You like it when I fuck you?" God, he could do this all night, and Eddie was _so fucking tight_.

"Oh god, yes, yes, please—"

"You have the best ass," Buck growled in his ear, and Eddie _moaned._ "You're mine, Eds. All mine."

"Yours."

"And no one but me has ever done this, have they? I'm the only one you've ever had."

Eddie gasped, scrabbling at his back. "No, all yours."

"You're going to feel this tomorrow, babe. You're going to move and _think of me_ ," Buck hissed, adjusting the angle, and giving one sharp thrust.

Eddie's mouth dropped open and his eyes went wide.

"Gotcha," Buck murmured, and began to thrust in earnest. "That's it, Eds. That's the spot. Feel that? Can you feel that? That's what you need, isn't it?"

Eddie managed a nod, going almost limp beneath him. Buck kissed him and then sat up on his knees, grabbing Eddie by the hips and pulling him up and onto his lap, so they were chest to chest, and Eddie was riding him. "God fucking damn you," Eddie groaned, pressing his face against Buck's neck. "Oh my god, this is so fucking good. Fuck me, please fuck me, don't stop – I keep seeing you with her, I keep thinking about it, I need you, please don't leave me—"

"I won't," Buck promised. "I never would. Ride me, come on. Come on, Eddie. Fuck me like you want to."

And Eddie did, rolling his hips in time with Buck's movements, and they were both gasping and clinging to each other. There was a rip as the knees on Buck's jeans tore– fuck, he still had his pants and shoes on. Eddie's mouth was on his, and Buck wrapped a hand around his cock and stroked it until Eddie was coming, moaning like a porn star, shuddering around Buck's dick until Buck let go as well.

~~

Eddie could hardly move. He was in bed, and Buck was curled up behind him, but he felt utterly wrecked. He must've fallen asleep while Buck cleaned them both up, and now he was hurting all over - his muscles hurt, his heart hurt, and he just wanted to curl up in Buck's arms and let him take care of him forever.

Buck's arms were wrapped around him. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry. That was too much."

Eddie shook his head - it genuinely wasn't. He'd arguably been rougher. He'd left marks all over Buck's body, hand prints and fingerprints, teeth marks, love bites, bruises that were hidden between his thighs.

But Buck had taken him, and Eddie… hadn't been expecting that, actually, and hadn't wanted it to ever stop, once it had begun. And now he felt empty, like something was missing, like he wanted Buck back inside, filling him up again. Was this how Buck felt afterwards?

"Eddie." Buck's voice was low. "Eddie, I'm sorry."

"No. I wanted it. Want you."

"I hurt you."

"No, you didn't. I'm okay." Eddie rolled over so they were facing each other, and cupped Buck's face. "I've never seen you like that before. I know I'm possessive, but Jesus Christ, Buck."

"I just needed you to know that I only went on that stupid date to make Maddie happy," Buck whispered. "Not because I want to be with anyone other than you. You're the only person I want. You're the only man I want touching me, Eddie. Looking at me. I just want you."

"You have me," Eddie said sweetly. "I'm all yours, baby. No more dates, though, okay? No more fucking dates, with anyone. I swear to fucking god if Maddie tries to set you up again, I'll lose my mind. No dates."

"No dates, unless they're with you."

"Yeah." Eddie kissed him reassuringly. "God, Buck. That was the best."

"Really?"

"I never knew what I was missing out on. Jesus Christ, why didn't you tell me it was that good?"

"I feel like you should've picked up on my cues that it was," Buck murmured.

They made out for a while, softly and sweetly. Eddie thought, _I don't want this to end; I don't want to be apart anymore_ , and he was going to open his mouth to say something really stupid – like, hey Buck, move in with me, when Buck spoke first.

"Eddie, I really hate… not being with you at night," he said. "Coming here alone. And I'm not asking to move in, but like… do you think I could sleep over some nights during the week?"

"Yes," Eddie said instantly, sealing it with a kiss. "Yes, absolutely."

"Sure?"

"Yes."

"We don't have to spend every night together—"

"But we will; we'll make it work so we do. Okay?"

Buck nodded with relief. "Okay. Thanks."

"And you can bring some clothes over," Eddie said, running his fingers down his face. "I'll make room for you, so you don't have to bring a bag, all right? And you make some room for my stuff here."

"Okay," Buck agreed, nuzzling against him. "That's a good idea."

**~*~*~**

_**Josh** _

"So…" Josh approached Gwen, Maddie at his side, both with matching hopeful expressions. "How did it go?"

Gwen looked up from her phone, blinking at them. "Oh. He's a great guy, but we didn't really have a spark. Nice guy though. Held the door open, walked me to my car and everything."

"Oh no," Josh said, disappointed. "We were hoping you two might hit it off."

Gwen shrugged apologetically. "Sorry guys. I'm not his type, I don't think."

Maddie gave her a tight smile, said a quick thank you, and then dragged Josh to a secluded corner of the office. "So there is someone," she hissed. "Can you text him and find out?"

"He's not going to tell me," he protested. "Why don't you text him? He's your brother!"

"I just think that there's something going on, if he's being all secretive about it—"

"No offence, Maddie, but it seems like he's been secretive about this stuff before," he pointed out.

Her face fell. "But I wasn't here then, so maybe that's why he didn't tell me."

"Or maybe he doesn't want to talk about it." Josh took both of her hands and said imploringly, "Buck is _fine._ He's probably embarrassed that Chimney saw the bruises. If he doesn't want to come out to you, you can't force him."

"I know."

"I feel like these are your pregnancy hormones driving you crazy, making you worry about your brother. It's Buck! He's fine."

"But you hooked up with a guy who hurt you—"

Josh shook his head. "That was different, and you know it. Maddie. _Maddie._ Do not confront him about this, okay? There's a reason he's keeping it a secret. He'll tell you when he's ready."

"But what if he's ashamed about it? What if he thinks I won't accept him? What if it's because something happened to him when he was a kid and I wasn't there, and—"

"Oh my god, will you please calm down?" he whispered. "It's _Buck._ The happiest guy in the world. Do you really think there's some deep dark secret?"

Maddie sighed. "No."

"If you're so worried about it, why don't you _ask him_? Isn't he building furniture for you and helping you move in? Just sit him down privately and ask," Josh said patiently. "My god, Maddie. It's not this hard."

She laughed, slapping him on the arm. "I'm sorry. I just really hoped we'd find him someone nice."

"Maybe he's already found someone nice."

**~*~*~**

Eddie was stretched out on the couch, dozing, when a pillow landed on his face and Chimney shouted, "Wake up!" at him, like it was the funniest thing ever.

He whipped the pillow at Chimney and glared at him. "Fucking hell, man, I can't get five minutes of peace?"

"Well, I thought I'd get you on your own. Haven't had a chance to talk to you in ages," Chimney said, dropping into the armchair across from him.

Eddie sat up slowly, rubbing his face with both hands. They'd been at an industrial fire for most of the day, and he was exhausted. "Why do you want to talk to me?"

Chimney hesitated, looking around to make sure they were alone, and then said in a low voice, "I need to ask you about Buck."

Eddie grimaced. "Why? What's going on?"

Buck and Hen had taken off together once they'd returned to the station, giggling about something like a pair of co-conspirators. Athena's birthday was coming up, so he figured it was something to do with that.

"Well, we tried to set him up the other night and it didn't work out. Did he talk to you about that?"

Eddie paused, wondering how much he should reveal – they were all aware that he and Buck were close, so it stood to reason that Buck would've talked to him about a date even if they weren't currently sleeping together. He finally said, "Yeah, he wasn't thrilled about it."

"Is that because he's already seeing someone?"

"God, you are such a gossip," he groaned. "Who cares? Buck can do what he wants."

"Yeah, but—"

"No buts, Chim. His dating life isn't up for discussion. He's my best friend; I'm not going to tell you what he talks to me about in private." He slumped down onto the seat again, trying to convey with body language that Chimney should fuck off and leave him alone.

Chimney looked disappointed. "So you know he's bisexual, then."

_How the fuck did Chimney know that?_ "Where's this coming from?"

"Josh. Buck was on Grindr until recently. You didn't know? And here I thought you two were joined at the hip."

They'd been joined by much more than the hip that morning, but Eddie didn't feel the need to mention that. He was also strangely relieved to discover that Buck was definitely not on Grindr anymore – not that he'd been worried, but it was just nice to have the confirmation. He crossed one leg over the other and said, "Maybe we shouldn't be sitting here talking about Buck's sexuality. If he hasn't come out, there must be a reason for it."

"Look, I just want to know what's going on with him," Chimney said, changing tactics – Eddie could see right through him. "He's pulled away from us lately. He's been secretive. Don't you think? He's less available than he used to be."

Eddie shrugged. "He has his own life? I don't really know what you want me to say."

"Maddie and I think he might be seeing someone, and keeping it hidden for some reason. Do you know anything about that?" Chimney raised his eyebrows at him.

Eddie frowned. Was Chimney asking him in a subtle way whether he and Buck were together, or was he simply fishing for information?

When he failed to respond, Chimney decided to change tactics _again._ "Look," he said, holding his hands up. "I know you're his best friend and you're not going to tell me what I want to know, but here's the thing. After the party boat thing, I came into the change rooms and saw Buck with his shirt off, covered in bruises. What's up with that? He's obviously seeing someone and not telling us about it."

"And if he is," Eddie pointed out, "that's his business. Not yours. He's an adult."

"Yeah, but he's _Buck_ ," Chimney replied. "The guy is like a puppy dog. It didn't look good to me, Eddie. Like, violent."

Eddie went cold, all over. Did it really look that bad? "I don't know, man," he said uncomfortably.

"I told Maddie about it and she's all freaked out."

_Fuck._

"You don't think he's dating someone and it's like, abusive, do you?" Chimney looked genuinely concerned. "Just putting two and two together, like… he's less available, he's been more secretive – maybe there's something going on. He would talk to you about it, wouldn't he? You're his best friend."

"He hasn't said anything," Eddie lied. _Shit, shit, shit._ "He's fine. Honestly."

"I'm not sure," Chimney murmured. "I'm worried."

"I really don't think you need to be, man. I really think he's fine."

"And then we were looking at his Instagram," Chimney continued, ignoring Eddie as if he hadn't made a perfectly reasonable statement, "and it's mostly pictures of stuff he does with you. So like, what's going on? You guys are together all the time. You must know who he's seeing." And suddenly the lightbulb went on over Chimney's head, and he was looking at Eddie with new eyes – wide, horrified eyes.

Eddie fought hard to keep a poker face. He could do this. He wasn't going to fuck this up.

And then Chimney said, "He's using you to cover for him, isn't he? Fuck, Eddie. If he's in some kind of trouble, you should tell us."

Relief was the first thing to wash over him, and then dismay, because Chimney thought _he_ was hurting _Buck?_ And suddenly he was feeling like the world's shittiest boyfriend, because fuck, he had been rough, but they _both_ were – they egged each other on, pushed each other around, wrestled and gave each other hickeys and bruises for fun. They laughed all the way through it; it was _fun_ , and he certainly wasn't abusing Buck, but now… he was feeling like a genuine piece of shit. When they did finally tell the others, they would know that their sex life could get a little rough sometimes. Eddie found that _mortifying._

So he said, "He asked me not to say anything to anyone, and that includes you. He's not in any trouble. I guarantee that everything is fine. He's just not ready to talk about it with everyone. Is that cool?"

Chimney sighed. "So there is someone. And that someone is hurting him."

"That's not what I said, man," Eddie replied, raising his voice a little, hoping to get his point across. "Chim. Buck's a grown man. If he's not talking about it, there's a reason. Trust me, okay? He's fine."

"Okay," Chimney replied, looking unconvinced. "But if I see any bruises on him again, I'm going to say something."

_Fuck._

~~

"What do you mean?" Buck asked, disappointed. They were in bed together, having been able to steal a couple of hours alone after work, and Eddie had dropped a bomb on him. "I like your love bites."

"Chim brought it up with me. I can't mark you up anymore, not where people can see, anyway." Eddie cast a hand down Buck's firm stomach unhappily. "He thinks I'm hurting you. I'm not, am I?"

"No," Buck replied with disgust. "I think I could take you, Diaz, if I had to."

"Nah, you're too soft."

Buck jutted his chin out. "You want to go? Let's settle this, once and for all."

"Oh, big tough man," Eddie teased. He'd been quiet at work most of the day – and now Buck knew why – but as soon as they were alone he was his usual sweet self, wasting no time in getting them both upstairs and naked so they could take advantage of their limited alone time.

He'd then ruined it by telling Buck what Chimney had said, and now Buck was scowling, even as Eddie pressed tiny kisses to the birthmark over his eye, running his fingers lightly over his face, as though he was scared to touch him any harder. Somehow that only served to piss him off more, and he shifted lower on the bed, turning his back, putting a pillow over his head.

Eddie's lips ghosted across his back, rubbing his thumb along the fading marks. "Hey," he said, butting his head against his shoulders. "Look at me."

"No."

Strong hands cast down his side and over his hip. Eddie pressed his lips to the soft flesh right at the back of Buck's arm, just above his elbow, and then reached up to pull the pillow off his face, turning him onto his back again. Buck frowned at him unhappily. "Why aren't you more pissed about this?"

"I don't have time to be pissed; we've only got two and a half hours and I don't want to talk about them anymore." Eddie kissed his nipple, clearly trying to get him to relax.

He was wound too tight, playing it over in his mind. "What exactly did he say to you?"

"Doesn't matter." Eddie slid on top of him again, pushing his legs apart, and gazed down at him lovingly. "Come on, it doesn't matter, does it? Let's just—"

"That's easy for you to say; you're not the one they think is in an abusive relationship."

Eddie groaned, burying his face in Buck's neck. "I knew I shouldn't have said anything."

"Bobby doesn't know, does he?"

"Not that I know of." Eddie's voice was muffled.

Buck was spiralling into bitterness and despair. "I'll probably get called into his office and he'll look at me like I'm his kid and he's so fucking worried about me, and… fuck, Eddie. Fuck."

Eddie propped himself up again, raising his eyebrows. "I know you're pissed off," he said firmly, "and we will figure out what to do about it, okay? But can we just, please, please—"

"And not only that, when they find out we're together they'll know it's you. Fuck!"

"Oh my god." Eddie rolled off him, shaking his head. "Baby, come on. You're getting so worked up."

He looked at Eddie, who was staring up at the ceiling unhappily. "Sorry," he muttered. "I just… I hate that they were talking about me behind my back. Come here."

Eddie glanced at him, and then relented, sliding back on top of him. Buck hooked his arms around his neck and gazed up at him in silence, smiling when Eddie pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "Hey," Eddie whispered. "Hey, beautiful."

"Hey."

He kissed the corner of Buck's mouth and then his chin, and whispered, "I love you, baby."

"Stop it," Buck complained, but he couldn't control his face, and he was grinning like an idiot, some of his bad mood lifting. Eddie was such a sappy goof sometimes. "Don't call me that."

"You're my baby." Eddie kissed him again. "I love you."

"You're a dope, but I love you too." Buck kissed him back, and then remembered why he was pissed off, and couldn't help but groan. "Eddie, fuck. Why are they talking about me? He really didn't put two and two together?"

"No, apparently I'm excellent at pretending to not be in a relationship with you."

"Ugh." Buck turned his head to the side, shivering when Eddie slid his tongue along his neck up to his ear. "Oh, god damn it. I want you to fuck me."

"I'm going to."

"But you're not going to give it to me like I want you to. Fuck."

"I could give you a little spanking, if you want," Eddie murmured into his ear. "You like that."

"Mmm." Maybe that would leave a mark though, and heaven forbid he enjoy himself during sex – no, it wouldn't be _proper_.

Eddie propped himself up on his elbow, watching Buck scowl again, and then said, "Hey. You know they're worried about you and talking about this because they love you."

"People act like I don't know how to take care of myself. I want you to leave marks," Buck said, grabbing a fistful of Eddie's ass with his hand and squeezing pointedly. "I like it when you fuck me until I can't talk. There's nothing wrong with that."

"No, there isn't." Eddie lowered his head and sucked his nipple, releasing it with a _pop_. "Baby, you should get a nipple ring."

"Oh, fuck, Eddie. Stop it." Buck rolled onto his stomach, burying his face in his pillow. "Why'd you want that?"

"I think it's hot." Eddie slid on top of him again, his cock sliding nicely between Buck's thighs. "Mmm."

Buck wriggled beneath him. "Fuck me."

"You're not ready, like, at all."

"I don't care. Use your spit and fuck me," Buck begged. "I'll feel that and no one will be able to see." He knew how dirty that sounded, how desperate it was, but he couldn’t help it. He pressed back against Eddie insistently.

Eddie paused, leaning in close to Buck's ear. "Listen to yourself," he said quietly. "That'll hurt you. I'm not going to do that. Why do you want me to hurt you?"

"I like it." Buck pouted.

"Why, though?"

"Because… I don't know, when we can't be together, I can look at your fingerprints on me… and your teeth marks and I feel good," he said. "I can still feel you on my skin. I hate that he saw. I've been so careful not to let anyone see me."

"Baby."

"Eddie, stop fucking calling me that."

"God, you're in a mood." Eddie slid off him and sat up, withdrawing his touch completely. Buck groaned again, reaching out for him, but he pulled away. "What's going on? There's something you're not telling me."

"Fuck, I was having a great fucking day, knowing that it was going to be you and me this afternoon," he complained, "and then when Hen and I went out to get Athena's present she started in on me about dating again, and how she would find someone great for me, and I couldn't say to her, hold up, I have someone great, and I'm in love with him and we're having amazing sex – no, I can't tell her that, can I? And then you're all freaked out when I get back and I think, fuck, someone knows, but no, it's just Chimney thinking that you're abusing me. For fuck's sake." He stood up, kicking the blankets away, and stomped into the bathroom. "I'm just _pissed off_ that everyone keeps treating me like a goddamn child."

~~

Eddie sighed, turning on his side, watching as Buck went to the toilet. He should _not_ have told him anything about his conversation with Chimney – Buck had been aggravated ever since he returned from the shop with Hen, and Eddie had stoked the flames of the fire unintentionally. And now the root cause was revealed – Buck was annoyed that they were still in hiding.

"So you're pissed about us not telling people."

"That's not it." Buck was at the toilet, his back to Eddie.

"It is, Buck. If we tell people, then you'll stop being questioned."

"No, they'll think you're hurting me," he pointed out. "That's the problem. How the fuck am I supposed to say to Maddie that I like rough sex? She's going to look at me all heartbroken. Jesus Christ." He flushed the toilet and then went to the sink, scrubbing his hands angrily.

"What we do isn't even that rough, you know," Eddie pointed out. "I haven't tied you up or anything."

Buck glanced out at him, arching an eyebrow. "You want to, though?"

"Yeah, I want to, but… I'm scared, because… I don't know how to do this either. I never had sex with Shannon like this and we were together ten years." He had no fucking clue what he was doing, most of the time, and he certainly wasn't going to turn to porn or anything else for guidance. They would figure it out together.

"Yeah, but she was a chick, and I'm not." Buck flicked off the bathroom light and climbed onto the bed again, sliding across so his head was on Eddie's shoulder.

"No, because… I wasn't in love with her, the way I am with you," Eddie said uncomfortably. "Because… I didn't trust her. I trust you."

"I trust you too," Buck said simply.

"But we'll just have to take it easy, you know? If people are noticing, then… we just can't do it," he said. "I'm not ready to come out. They have no idea that you and I are together. No one has connected the dots, and you post a lot of pictures of us on Instagram."

"Yeah, but I always did before," he pointed out. "If I stopped, it'd look more suspicious."

"Yeah, probably." Eddie rubbed his face, pulling Buck in close. "Look. I'm gonna call you baby, all right? You're my sweet baby and I love you."

Buck groaned, but he had a smile on his face. "It's so sappy."

"Nothing wrong with a little bit of sappy." Eddie kissed the top of his head. "I love how gentle you are. I love how nice you are to everyone. I love when you smile at me and your eyes go all soft. I love when I catch you looking at me. I love when you cuddle up to me at night. I love when you get all teary watching a sad movie. You are soft and sweet, and I love you for it. You don't have to be tough with me."

"Okay." Buck nuzzled his shoulder.

"So I'm gonna call you my baby and you're gonna like it," Eddie ordered, and Buck began to laugh. "Stop being so angry and give me sweet kisses like I want you to."

"You're the fucking worst, you know that?"

"Yeah, but you love it." He checked his watch – they still had time, plenty of time, and now that Buck was happy and smiling again, he slipped on top of him and kissed him with meaning.

And Buck gave a soft moan, reaching up to tug on Eddie's hair, holding him in place. They made out languidly. Eddie felt the tension flowing out of his body, coaxing him with kisses and touches, and soon Buck was making his usual happy noises, rubbing his nose against Eddie's and holding him close with one arm, and reaching for the lube the other.

"Gentle," he said to Eddie, who nodded. "Nice and gentle."

"Until the heat is off."

"Yeah, 'til then. _Only '_ til then."

~

When Eddie arrived at the station the next morning, he walked smack bang into a serious gossip session. Hen and Chimney had Bobby and Athena cornered in the kitchen, and Buck was still downstairs in the locker room, clearly delaying the inevitable.

Eddie changed into his uniform and sat down to tie up his shoes. "Go up there and confront them," he said when they were alone. "Tell them you're seeing someone and it's none of their business."

"You don't think that will raise more questions?"

"Nope. Go up there and tell them off. You're going to have to tell them something, so that may as well be it."

Buck nodded, steeling himself. "Okay. Come on."

Eddie followed him upstairs, and the group broke apart, trying to seem innocent. Eddie ducked past Buck to the fridge to grab the orange juice, and when he looked over his shoulder, he saw Buck, standing in the middle of the room with his hands on his hips, positively glowering at them.

"Hey, Buck," Hen said awkwardly. "How—"

"I'm great. So I'm seeing someone," he announced, "and it's new, and I'm not in an abusive relationship, _Chimney_ , and I'd appreciate you possibly relaying to Maddie that everything is fine."

Chimney winced, ducking his head guiltily. "Sorry."

"Yeah, you should be. Not cool."

"You could've told us you met someone," Bobby said gently. "We'd like to meet her."

"Him," Buck corrected, clearing his throat. "I'm seeing a guy."

Bobby, Athena and Hen wore matching expressions of surprise – Buck guessed Chimney hadn't spilled the beans about _that_ , yet. "Oh," Bobby said, faltering. "Okay."

"I'm bisexual." Buck folded his arms across his chest. "Not that it's anyone's business."

"No, of course not," Athena agreed, taking a step towards him. "We're happy for you, Buckaroo. These idiots were just worried."

"How many times do I need to tell you that I'm fine? Lately you're all looking at me differently and I hate it. I'm seeing someone, what's the big deal?"

"It's just that you've been single a long time," Hen said gently. "I wasn't worried. Chimney and Maddie got all worked up about it."

"You guys know me better than anyone," he said unhappily. "I was going to tell you when I was ready. I don't like being gossiped about."

"I'm sorry," Chimney said quickly, stepping in front of the others. "It was me, Buck. I'm sorry."

"We're going to be brothers-in-law one day, do you think you can cool it a bit, Chim? Maybe don't go harass Eddie for information about me?"

Chimney glanced over at Eddie, who shrugged at him. "I had to tell him, man," he said. "You know where my loyalty lies."

"Maybe a little too much loyalty," Chimney muttered, but then nodded at Buck. "Yep. Sorry."

"It'd be nice if we could meet him," Hen said, but Buck frowned. "No?"

"We're taking things slow," Buck said. "That's why I haven't been talking about it. I like him; it's new and I want to see where it goes. So… do you need any more information, or should I get Athena to do a background check on him so you can see that he's not a serial killer?"

It was an attempt at a joke and it lightened the mood. Chimney took another step towards him. "Hey, I'm really sorry. I could blame it all on Maddie but you and I both know it's only partly her fault."

"I'll talk to her when I see her tomorrow," Buck replied. "We're all cool now, right? Trust me – if there was some bad dude in my life, Eddie would sort him out. You wouldn't like him when he's angry."

At that they all chuckled, glancing over to where Eddie was standing. Buck shot him an affectionate look as Eddie said, "Well, someone's got to be the judge of character around here, what can I say?"

"Right," Hen replied dryly. "You're the best judge of character. Okay."

"Hey, I picked Bobby as my captain over everyone else, didn't I? That should give you a pretty good indication that I know what I'm doing," he said, tapping his head.

Hen pointed to Buck. "And you picked him for a best friend."

"Never regretted it for a second," Eddie replied, flashing Buck a grin. "Besides, he's Christopher's best friend; I'm just the third wheel."

At that they all laughed, the tension well and truly broken. Hen, Chimney and Bobby went over to Buck – Hen gave him a hug and a pat on the back, and he accepted their apologies easily enough. While they were distracted Eddie slipped into a seat at the table, downed the last of his juice, and checked the messages on his phone.

"Well," Athena remarked, taking the seat opposite him. "Nice that Buck has someone he can confide in."

Eddie blinked up at her and said, "Yeah, well… we're pretty close."

"Very close, judging by Buck's Instagram, of which there are zero pictures of him with anyone other than you and Christopher." Athena arched her eyebrows at him. "I wasn't born yesterday."

_Shit._ He began to sweat, trying to think of a lie fast enough, and finally went with, "I guess I'm his cover story."

She smirked. "If that's what you want to call it," she said, and glanced over to where the others had Buck surrounded. "They just want him to be happy, you know. He's had a rough couple of years."

"Maybe he is happy now," Eddie suggested. "And maybe it doesn't need to be public knowledge just yet."

" _He_ doesn't want it to be public knowledge," she murmured, "or _you_ don't want it to be public knowledge?"

_Shit, shit, shit._ "Um…"

"Think of a lie faster, Eddie."

He couldn't. He made a face at her and glanced over at Buck again, who had Chimney in a mock chokehold. "Um. Don't say anything, please."

Athena's expression turned sympathetic. "You're afraid."

"Yes."

"Not him?"

"No." He couldn't look at her.

"Okay," she said simply. "It's our secret. I won't tell a soul."

"Thank you." He met her eyes briefly, nodding once. "Seriously."

Athena held a finger to her lips, flashed him a smile and stood up to join the others.

_Shit._

~~

**Author's Note:**

> ["I Only Have Eyes for You" - The Flamingos](https://youtu.be/FvzNeh4Mq1o)


End file.
